Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Hurling stories...
Evil Wayne, is once again giving us a description of his life that defies even the most ill-conceived MTV reality show. Yet, its strangely compelling. So I will pile on.
This makes me remember when Joellyn was last sick. It was horrific. Val was feeling ill, and having a gall bladder attack. I had to rush her to the hospital (calling a playgroup mom at 9 pm to watch the kids) and when we got there, we had the obligatory 3 hour wait ahead of us. Well, we would have, but she decided to hurl. Bleeding and puking always seem to get you into a room faster at the ER.
Well, we got her settled, and I went home. By morning, I was sick, too. Val was going to have surgery the next day to remove the lump of crud we called a gall-bladder, so she wasn't feeling too helpful, but she still managed to coordinate a rescue of a 5 year old and a 10 month old baby by one of her scrap-book friends, until my Dad could get there to pick them up. Commence Al puking! I had wanted to puke all night (I thought it was just nausae from watching Valerie), but somehow I keep it all inside, so I could "take care of the kids." Anyway, once they were gone, my stomach felt no such duty to keep things together.
Kids at my Mom & Dad's house, and I am feeling a bit better the next day. Val's surgery goes well, but she is sore. I figure, I will get my kids,a nd then we can visit mommy, and get the family back from this vomit induced diaspora. I did get them home, but that night, the third time was the charm. Joellyn had told me when goign to bed, that "her tummy hurt." I would have paid more attention, but something ALWAYS hurts when she is going to bed, so its hard to decide when its a critical hurt. I told her she needed rest.
At about midnight, I heard stirring. I heard coughing. Val was still not home so I was sleeping lightly. My psychic sense told me to RUN!!!!
I grabbed the nearest thing.. the trash bin my my bedside and ran to put it under her face. I caught about 1/4 of it. The rest was on all over her bed. It was the most disgusting puke I had ever seen. See, my mom loves feeding them whatever kind of odd junk that kids think is fun. So, she had filled Joellyn full of Go-Gurt. It's a disgusting tube of squeezable , neon-colored, sugar-loaded yogurt. And after that, my daughter drank about a quart of milk. When it came back up 4 hours later, it was like bathing in the cheese factory.
Not only that, but she was crying at the top of her lungs, having never really puked much before. That meant the baby woke up, and immediately FREAKED OUT. So, they are all crying, and I am still woozy from my sickness. I did manage to clean up, and I had to shuttle all the kids into my room for the night until I could get the decon team to clean up the kids room the next day.
Anyway, this story should drop my readership from 2 to zero in no time.
This makes me remember when Joellyn was last sick. It was horrific. Val was feeling ill, and having a gall bladder attack. I had to rush her to the hospital (calling a playgroup mom at 9 pm to watch the kids) and when we got there, we had the obligatory 3 hour wait ahead of us. Well, we would have, but she decided to hurl. Bleeding and puking always seem to get you into a room faster at the ER.
Well, we got her settled, and I went home. By morning, I was sick, too. Val was going to have surgery the next day to remove the lump of crud we called a gall-bladder, so she wasn't feeling too helpful, but she still managed to coordinate a rescue of a 5 year old and a 10 month old baby by one of her scrap-book friends, until my Dad could get there to pick them up. Commence Al puking! I had wanted to puke all night (I thought it was just nausae from watching Valerie), but somehow I keep it all inside, so I could "take care of the kids." Anyway, once they were gone, my stomach felt no such duty to keep things together.
Kids at my Mom & Dad's house, and I am feeling a bit better the next day. Val's surgery goes well, but she is sore. I figure, I will get my kids,a nd then we can visit mommy, and get the family back from this vomit induced diaspora. I did get them home, but that night, the third time was the charm. Joellyn had told me when goign to bed, that "her tummy hurt." I would have paid more attention, but something ALWAYS hurts when she is going to bed, so its hard to decide when its a critical hurt. I told her she needed rest.
At about midnight, I heard stirring. I heard coughing. Val was still not home so I was sleeping lightly. My psychic sense told me to RUN!!!!
I grabbed the nearest thing.. the trash bin my my bedside and ran to put it under her face. I caught about 1/4 of it. The rest was on all over her bed. It was the most disgusting puke I had ever seen. See, my mom loves feeding them whatever kind of odd junk that kids think is fun. So, she had filled Joellyn full of Go-Gurt. It's a disgusting tube of squeezable , neon-colored, sugar-loaded yogurt. And after that, my daughter drank about a quart of milk. When it came back up 4 hours later, it was like bathing in the cheese factory.
Not only that, but she was crying at the top of her lungs, having never really puked much before. That meant the baby woke up, and immediately FREAKED OUT. So, they are all crying, and I am still woozy from my sickness. I did manage to clean up, and I had to shuttle all the kids into my room for the night until I could get the decon team to clean up the kids room the next day.
Anyway, this story should drop my readership from 2 to zero in no time.
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And after that, my daughter drank about a quart of milk. When it came back up 4 hours later, it was like bathing in the cheese factory.
Milk?!? You actually gave your kid milk after they threw up? I'm surprised it took 4 hours to come back up, you awful parent.
You're worse than Hitler.
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Milk?!? You actually gave your kid milk after they threw up? I'm surprised it took 4 hours to come back up, you awful parent.
You're worse than Hitler.
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